Letting Go of Past Hurts

What would your life look like if you could finally release the weight of your past hurts? 

Freedom begins with acknowledging a powerful truth: every obstacle and painful experience has shaped who you are today. But while these experiences matter, they don't have to dictate your future. In this deeply personal episode, I share a recent conversation that forced me to confront my own unresolved feelings and the valuable lessons it taught me about the letting go process.

The journey toward healing isn't about pretending everything is fine or simply "getting over it." Rather, it's a deliberate, multi-layered process requiring both courage and patience. Like peeling an onion, we often need to release the same pain multiple times before truly finding freedom. Through personal stories and practical insights, I guide you through the six transformative stages of emotional healing: self-reflection, commitment, acknowledgment, acceptance, releasing, and ultimately, forgiveness.

This episode explores how holding onto past hurts drains the energy you need for your present and future. Learn why creating healthy boundaries is essential, why your trauma can become a source of empathy and strength, and why forgiveness is ultimately a gift you give yourself. Discover practical strategies for transforming painful memories into stepping stones for growth rather than stumbling blocks.

Whether you're carrying the weight of choices others made that affected your path, or struggling with regrets about roads not taken, this episode offers a compassionate roadmap toward freedom. Your past may have shaped you, but your healing is what defines you. Take the first step today, and let's walk this journey together.

Chapters

• 0:00 Discovering the Power of Letting Go
• 3:14 The Real You: Identity Through Healing
• 8:22 The Challenge of Letting Go
• 11:39 Six Ways to Release Past Pain
• 26:00 The Final Stage: Forgiveness
• 28:40 Closing Thoughts and Invitation

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

what would your life look like if you could let go of all your past hearts? A couple of weeks ago, guys, I had a conversation with someone very important to me, and this person acknowledged how certain choices made by others drastically changed her path in life. Or, to put it in another way, because of them, she thinks she never had a chance to understand what she wanted to do. Okay, so she expressed regret, of course, believing she would have made different decisions if, given the opportunity, I told her to let it go. First of all, you know, when we talk about barriers, it doesn't matter if you have something you enjoy doing or not, and it doesn't matter if someone made certain choices that blocked your path or not. The point is that obstacles are always around the corner, are always within you, and these obstacles are going to shape you into the person you are today. Okay, so it is essential to acknowledge that it is okay to feel that way. Being human guys means being part of a full twister made of obstacles, success and progress. You cannot avoid it. It doesn't matter where you are or where you want to be, because all of this is part of being a beautiful human being. Also, it's not about being early or late. The right time reflects the right moment in your life. Okay, what is really important in all of this story is that the decisions we make right now shape our future, and that's what matters most. And a second point secondly, everything that has happened in our past is fundamental to who we are today, guys. So if we are happy with our current version of ourselves, we should focus on the present and how we can improve our future, and if we're not satisfied with who we are, we still need to focus on the present and find ways to improve in the future, to improve in the future. So in the end of the story, it is the same thing. All right, it's the same story. And here we finally understand that our journey, the journey to success, is a healing journey. Hi guys, my name is Fabio from Journey to Success, and welcome.

Speaker 1: 2:50

Today we're going to introduce this new concept, the concept of transformation through healing and creating meaning in life, emphasizing the importance of letting go. But before to go forward, as always, please subscribe. So I know this is the right direction to lead you guys, to drive you, to guide you towards your journey to success. Let's get started right. This is going to be very interesting episode.

Speaker 1: 3:17

So, first of all, who is the real you there? You is someone who acknowledged that the past was important in shaping the current version of yourself, guys. Then this version of yourself, the current one, inspires to be better and better, optimizing its new identity. And let's say you're happy with your life right, let's say that you are very glad with your life, but one day you decide you want to reinvent yourself. Okay, fair enough, you can still do, as long as you know your direction. The only thing you need to do is fail, stand up and keep progressing, all right. So keep failing, standing up and progressing until you achieve whatever you want to accomplish. Like crickets, guys, you know, as a cricket's body grows, it clears its exoskeleton.

Speaker 1: 4:16

Also, another essential thing to note is that if you had a specific negative experience in the past, you're more sensitive in the present, and this is not a bad thing because it shapes us to who we are, our true identity and what we can do with it. Maybe we can help someone else who has been less lucky than us and anyway, in this case, you let it go automatically, right? So our trauma may still live within us, but we can use it to empower our sensitivity and create a strong identity from it. So when you reflect on your past, guys, you can develop new values that make you a more authentic person, you know. So, if we look at this way, it's not so bad. I should listen to this episode anyway for my trauma. Anyway, what is the challenge here? For all of us, it's important to use your past to your advantage in the present. Past to your advantage in the present. But you, you must be uh cautious not to let your past self dominate your core and thoughts, words and actions, otherwise you cannot let it go.

Speaker 1: 5:36

Okay, the truth is that letting go takes time, guys, and that that's the reality. I could give you an entire lecture on this episode, but the truth is that letting go simply demands time and patience. But do you know what is it? If you are listening to this episode, or you know reading something related, or, let's say, you hear the right words from the right person close to you, it will make this time shorter. Just remember, as soon as you leave this grudge about your past behind, the faster you can use the same past to your advantage.

Speaker 1: 6:15

Okay, and I have another example for you, anyway, based off something that happened to me still a couple of weeks ago it was kind of the same day, if I'm not wrong, it was the same day. I know it happened a lot, but a person from the past appeared in the life of someone I'm close to and, while the situation has been handled well, the involvement of this third person, the one I care about, as well as how things evolved, left me feeling hard, so I felt the need to have an honest conversation about it. As a result, guys, I felt the need to talk to this person I really care about, and the outcome is that communication is essential here. So you can't just let go of something. If you have unresolved feelings and things you want to express, like in my case, you cannot do that. So letting go doesn't mean pretending that everything is fine. It means confronting the situation with the right attitude.

Speaker 1: 7:29

Another important point is how to create boundaries. So creating boundaries is something necessary because you need to protect yourself and the people around you. So you must protect your well-being from energies that conflict with your own energy. So you need your energy to be clear and vibrant so you can work on your goals and futures. You don't need garbage situations around you don't need at all, but when they happen like it happened to me, like it happens to you and they happen more often than you think the truth is that then you need to face them.

Speaker 1: 8:12

In Italy, we say there is this saying ingoiare il rospo, which means swallow the thought. I believe the English equivalent is bite the bullet, you know. So it's not just about swallowing your feelings. You must face the situation and learn from it before letting go. Okay, now, did this conversation that I had with this person I care about resolve everything and make me feel good the next day? Absolutely not, of course. I woke up feeling devastated. Absolutely not, of course. I woke up feeling devastated. However, if I kept quiet and didn't address their arguments, it would be worse, and I sincerely appreciate this person being honest with me as well. And what did I learn from this experience? I don't know. I don't know yet. Time will tell, but still I'm confident that I managed well, and this bullet experience guys, let's call it in this way will shape the next version of myself. I know that you know, embracing the letting go attitude with knowledge and strength. Now, the scenario I mentioned was a positive one. Instead, let's discuss the impact of holding past hearts and how it can slow personal growth and happiness.

Speaker 1: 9:33

First of all, it depends on the intensity of your pain, guys. The more prominent the pain, the more often you need to let it go, like layers of the same onion. Of course, you must face it first instead of swallowing it. So we say it. And letting go is not just a one-time event, guys. It requires reflection and effort. It's a habit you you know, and you need to make a conscious effort to repeat it before it becomes automatic. And especially initially, the response to the discomfort to let it go can be deep, but you need to go forward, to let the tension go and to heal the crack completely. You know, it is like you release deeper layers of the same material. Like I said before, it's like an onion or, you know, like a bad onion. So if an onion starts to rot, you need to clean the first layers, okay. So it's kind of the same Again.

Speaker 1: 10:36

The purpose of letting go, guys, is not to erase emotions okay, so I really want to be clear about it but to acknowledge their presence and transform your relationship into something beautiful and strong, like helping others to do better than your previous version of yourself, for example. So letting go is a mental state of clarity, guys, where you no longer generate extra suffering for yourself. It is a state where you can use your energy for something more significant rather than being pitiful, feeling like a victim or crying all the time. You know. And lastly, holding on to past hurts can slow personal growth and happiness. So it's very important to move forward. But how to do that? Here, I'm going to show you six of the most powerful ways to stop holding on to the pain of the past and finally let it go.

Speaker 1: 11:33

So, number one we have self-reflection, right. Some may ask okay, fabio, okay, very enough, everything beautiful. But if I am the victim, right, if I am the one who is hurt, why should I reflect on my actions? Why should the other person reflect on theirs? Trust me, guys, they do. They reflect it, they do reflect it and they will reflect it. They don't need your help to reflect. Okay, me guys, they do, they've reflected, they do reflect that and they will reflect that. They know they don't need your help to reflect.

Speaker 1: 12:02

Okay, but you should also engage in this process. Whatever has happened around you generates a response from you. All, right, it becomes like a chessboard where one person responds to another. So, whatever you say, say whatever you think, you must always be thoughtful and reasonable, because you know everything you say, think or do defines who you are, and you want to be proud of that person. Like, hey, you know, I was a badass. In these circumstances, and when you learn to master this skill, guys and unfortunately I haven't mastered it yet you will feel as if no one can truly affect you. Okay, of course, we're human. We're human beings with emotions and hearts that beat in the same rhythm as the ocean's waves, right, but sometimes, when the waves are rough, they can be less enjoyable to dive into the water, and it is the same for our emotions. So, if you maintain a sense of calm and consider how much you can learn from a good attitude, you know, based on self-reflection, trigger, bypass, heart, the experience can be completely different, guys, in a positive way, of course.

Speaker 1: 13:17

Number two with commitment. Of course, number two with commitment. So when we are hard, our first instinct is often to build a wall or barrier around ourselves, but when we do this, we limit our ability to see from the other side, guys. And of course, if we cannot see the other side, we miss the opportunity to learn about why certain things happen to us or around us. I understand that it is okay to build a wall, especially if you are not ready to confront the past. It's okay, it's part of our subconscious, you know, that wants to protect us, so it makes sense. But it is essential to make sure that you can break this wall right. So make sure the wall you build is not reinforced concrete, basically. Otherwise you may never learn and grow. So remember to heal from the past, guys. We must be willing to push through the pain, as pain is where personal growth and healing leave. And once you make this commitment, you may feel disappointment, you can cry, probably, or get angry, but here is where the healing process begins.

Speaker 1: 15:30

Okay, number three acknowledge the pain. There is a beautiful statement by Paolo Coelho, the writer of the Alchemist. He said I don't regret the difficulties I experienced. I think they helped me because the person I'm today, I feel the way a warrior must feel after years of training. He doesn't remember the details of everything he learned, but he knows how to strike when the time is right. Now, if you acknowledge let's make a food example, I love food examples If you acknowledge that your food is not good, simply, you'll do better next time. Okay Again, if you recognize that you are frustrated, you understand that you need a break or you want to start meditating, okay. So when you acknowledge pain and gain a better perspective on what happened basically, like you know, an eagle fly above the ground you could learn to transform your pain into something beautiful. Guys, I'm going to make an extreme example for you.

Speaker 1: 16:39

If your best friend hurt you initially, you might build, you know, a wall around yourself, a barrier. However, if you take a step back and reflect properly, right, you may discover reasons for the conflict that you hadn't considered before. You may have done something that wasn't great either, or you may have done something that wasn't totally right, and this highlights the importance of self-reflection in this context as well. It's very important to self-reflect about what happened around you so you might realize that your ex-best friend is not such a bad person after all. It's just that you had different perspectives. As you move forward let's continue with this example you might find people in the future who align better with your behavior, right, leading to beautiful friendships, sisterhoods, brotherhoods or even relationships that can last forever. But if something goes wrong again, you know how to deal with it. Why? What is the reason? Because you have already gone through something similar and painful. Because you have already gone through something similar and painful and in this case, you already learned valuable lessons. You can still learn more lessons from it, okay, so you can still learn how to live a fulfilled life with the right people in the future.

Speaker 1: 18:15

Number four acceptance. You have to accept the pain to shape yourself into something beautiful. That's it. Otherwise, there is no change. It's simply how it works. Do you know how a pearl becomes a pearl, guys? Usually, a stone gets stuck under the tongue of an oyster, so the oyster, to remove the stone, tries to smooth it out, you know, to make it less sharp, and this process is a metaphor for life for me. So you need to embrace the pain to create something beautiful. And still talking about acceptance, inner damage can also be dangerous for the brain, leading to negative thought patterns like I must deserve this or I'll never be good enough. So this way of thinking keeps people trapped in a state of unworthiness, and that is also the reason it is essential to accept the pain in a way you can finally let go.

Speaker 1: 19:21

I'm going to tell you a story about myself. So there was a time in my life, guys, as mentioned in my values well, on Substack, when I managed clients' money as an account manager in the trading industry. I used trading bots, but unfortunately they didn't work as I expected. So instead of helping them, it drained the funds of my clients and when I realized what had happened, I stopped everything, returned all the money and felt immense guilt. Real story Even if the clients were kind and understanding, I was very pissed. I was ashamed of my actions, of course. So for years I was stuck in a mindset where I believed I didn't deserve success. For years I told myself that I had to face more difficulties, troubles, before I could achieve anything, sticking to the idea that I simply wasn't worthy. Yet you know like I look, like I put myself in a jail, in a mental jail. So that's the kind of damage our minds can inflict on us when we don't accept what happened to us and, in a way, to let it go.

Speaker 1: 20:46

So, when you constantly focus on your past wounds, guys, you become a victim also, and this situation shifts your focus away from dealing with the actual pain inside. See, look, look at how much damage a lack of self-acceptance can do if you don't accept pain soon. So accept pain, accept it, ok. Number five, releasing. So, after you engage in self-reflection, make a commitment, acknowledge your pain and, lastly, accept it. So the next step is to release those feelings. Okay, remember that all these toxic emotions can manifest as a physical pain, guys, it's not just my thought. Many doctors have documented how emotions can lead to various physical symptoms in the body. So, if you find it challenging to navigate, you know this process on your own.

Speaker 1: 21:41

Ask for help, guys, not from everyone, but especially from a qualified professional who specializes in emotional healing. Okay, so it's essential to work with someone knowledgeable, rather than just a random person without the necessary expertise. Knowledgeable, rather than just a random person without the necessary expertise. So a skilled professional will approach each situation individually, guys, as some individuals may carry, you know, deeper emotional wounds, particularly if they have experienced physical abuse as well. So by going through this stage, you may eventually evolve into something capable of helping others. All right, many spiritual leaders, guys, have faced physical or mental abuse and now dedicate their lives to assisting others. For example, a person who I follow personally on Spotify is Luis Hoz, host of the School of Greatness. Luis Hoz was abused as a child, but today is a great leader. So these individuals, like you know, like Louis Hose and similars, have experienced a complete healing process, guys, permitting these leaders to guide others.

Speaker 1: 22:55

But before doing that, we must address the final stage of this process. What is the final stage of this process? What is the final stage of this process? Of course, forgiveness. Ah, forgiveness.

Speaker 1: 23:08

It is so hard to forgive. First of all, you need to go through all these previous stages. Secondly, forgiveness is the ultimate act. You know that the moment you forgive is the moment you truly let go. It is a moment when a part of you will leave you forever, a part that has comforted you for so long, because holding on to toxic emotions or negative feelings at the end of the story, you know, makes them a part of you and you become kind of sorry to let them go. Okay, I know it's weird, probably it is weird, but I'm sure you relate to me. Anyway, the faster you let go, the easier your transformation into something better becomes. It's also important to understand that when you forgive guys, when you forgive someone, you do it not only for the person who caused the heart, but especially for yourself. So the moment you forgive past situations is the moment you start living more in the present, and the present is where you should focus your energy to create beautiful things in the future. So, if you expand your energy on thinking about the past, so think about the past, think about what happened Trust me, you will not have enough energy left to invest in your present, okay, which is very important for shaping your future.

Speaker 1: 24:51

Now, before wrapping up in this episode, what did we do? We explored the power of letting go and how past hurts can affect us, guys. Okay, we looked at how many of us carry pain from choices made by others, or regrets over paths we couldn't take, for example. And yet true healing begins when we stop blaming the past and start taking ownership of our present. Guys, we discussed how obstacles are not just setbacks. They're part of what shapes us. So every challenge you know, every moment of confusion or art shapes the person we're becoming, and while we can't change what happened, we can change our relationship to it. What else? We discussed the emotional stages of letting go. So, self-reflection, commitment, acknowledgement, acceptance, release and, at the end, forgiveness. All right, the last act and each step helps reduce the grip of the past and brings us closer to who we are.

Speaker 1: 26:04

Okay, people who can grow from pain, not just survive it. We also acknowledge that letting go doesn't mean pretending everything is fine. Everything is no, it's not like that. So sometimes it means having hard conversations, guys, setting boundaries and giving yourself time to heal, especially A process that can shape into a habit or skill that can be very useful for your future. And, most importantly, we explore how self-acceptance is not a finish line. It's a daily decision to embrace your truth, to release what no longer serves you and to become someone you are proud of, because you know your past may have shaped you, but your healing is what defines you. Now I want to hear from you what change are you starting to embrace when it comes to letting go of the past or accepting the person you are becoming? Drop a comment below. Let's open up an honest conversation about healing identity and the courage it takes to move forward.

Speaker 1: 27:18

And if this episode spoke to you, guys, don't keep it to yourself. Please share it with someone who might need a reminder that they're not alone in their journey. Okay, someone ready to release what is holding them back and step into who they truly are. Following, as always, guys, is excellent. That's okay, that's fine, it's perfect. As always, however, sharing is what sparks real connection, so just share this episode. I'm just happy that together we create a space where growth, honesty and self-acceptance are not just words, guys, but lived experiences, in a community where you can always count on your favorite streaming audio service or soup stack. Thank you for being here and for listening to Journey to Success and remember every step you take to let it go of what no longer serves you, brings you closer to the freedom and clarity you deserve. I appreciate you all and next time stay grounded, stay open and persist in your growth Cheers.