Discover how understanding The 5 Love Languages can improve your relationships! Learn about words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and more with this summary of Gary Chapman's book.
Ever felt like your heartfelt gestures of love are getting lost in translation? Join me, Fabio, on Journey to Success, as we unlock the language of love with the wisdom of Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages." Together, we'll navigate the intricacies of words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch, delving into how these powerful forms of expression can bridge the gap between intention and perception in your most cherished relationships. By the end of our conversation, you'll be equipped with the knowledge to speak directly to your partner's heart, and the transformative power of forgiveness and kindness will be crystal clear.
Imagine the impact on your relationship when you discover the precise way your partner craves to be loved. That’s the journey we embark on today, as we dissect the subtle cues and affectionate nuances that make each love language unique. From the thoughtful simplicity behind every meaningful gift to the tender embrace of physical touch, we dissect how these expressions can fortify bonds and foster a deeper understanding between lovers. Gary Chapman's vision isn't just about romance; it's a blueprint for personal success and happiness, and it’s our guide as we learn to weave these languages into the everyday fabric of our lives, transforming ordinary moments into extraordinary connections.
Discover how understanding The 5 Love Languages can improve your relationships! Learn about words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and more with this summary of Gary Chapman's book.
Ever felt like your heartfelt gestures of love are getting lost in translation? Join me, Fabio, on Journey to Success, as we unlock the language of love with the wisdom of Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages." Together, we'll navigate the intricacies of words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch, delving into how these powerful forms of expression can bridge the gap between intention and perception in your most cherished relationships. By the end of our conversation, you'll be equipped with the knowledge to speak directly to your partner's heart, and the transformative power of forgiveness and kindness will be crystal clear.
Imagine the impact on your relationship when you discover the precise way your partner craves to be loved. That’s the journey we embark on today, as we dissect the subtle cues and affectionate nuances that make each love language unique. From the thoughtful simplicity behind every meaningful gift to the tender embrace of physical touch, we dissect how these expressions can fortify bonds and foster a deeper understanding between lovers. Gary Chapman's vision isn't just about romance; it's a blueprint for personal success and happiness, and it’s our guide as we learn to weave these languages into the everyday fabric of our lives, transforming ordinary moments into extraordinary connections.
Hi guys, my name is Fabio from Journey to Success, and welcome. Today we're gonna talk about this new book and I'm sure you know what I'm gonna talk about it. So the name of the book is the Five Love Language by Gary Chapman, and this book has been written in the 1990s. Now, as I said, for sure, most of you know about the Five Love Language, but this interesting it comes from, you know, from an old book, I mean 90,. We're talking about, you know, 24 years ago, and I cannot wait to show you what I learned and I'm very grateful to share this valuable topic with you. It's very interesting because I was a little bit in doubt to study this summary, because I was thinking, right, hey, just a moment, journey to Success.
Speaker 1:
Journey to Success, I mean, okay, maybe it's not much, but then I was thinking, okay, just a moment, but Journey to Success, I mean for me, journey to Success means get the financial freedom right. Get the financial freedom and learn as much as I can to give you the right value and put a mark in this world. You know, and be good. Basically, that's what I want to do and that's what I want to achieve in my life. Maybe for someone else is reaching a bunch of money, want to become super rich, and it's okay like that. But maybe for someone else, reaching success is just understand the partner. Because, let's be honest, it's very hard, especially in our days at least forever in a relationship, right, and we always like to achieve the final love, something that is going to give us that feeling and that way to think that our partner is our true love, you know, because at the end you are going to least forever with your love and that's part of success. So I say okay, okay, just a moment, honestly, yes, it's Journey to Success, definitely. And then I say myself you know what let's do.
Speaker 1:
Let's talk about it. Let's start a little bit. You know, my fiance always talks about this five love language and I don't know if I was so much interested about it and I read the summary and I liked it, something I would like to share with you, and let's start. So, before to talk about the five love language, I would like to share with you what Gary Chapman says. So he says that strong relationships can list when both partners understand each other's love language. And how can you understand that? Via five type of language. The first one is affirmation. The second is acts of service. The third one is receiving gifts. The fourth one is quality time. And the fifth, one last, is physical touch.
Speaker 1:
Now, before to talk about each of them, there's a part of the world I would like to talk with you, and is how to express love, because of course you know, when we're talking about this language, first you have to know how to express generally love, right, and something that he mentioned is the forgiveness, so how to forgive. So forgiveness is one of the way to love Savanna, because when your partner makes some mistake right, this is just an example it makes a mistake and then he, she, realized about the mistake and they apologize with you. Well, when they apologize, the other side has only two options. The first option is revenge, revenge or especially justice. You know so, someone apologized, but the other person is so angry that he just wants to scream back, say no, I don't accept this, I don't like this. What did you do? Blah, blah, blah. That's a justice behavior. The problem with the justice behavior is that you don't build kindness, you don't build love.
Speaker 1:
The other one is forgiveness. So where you forgive, then you are more kind with each other and you are building a certain love, a certain kindness, a certain way to love the partners, because you also understand at a certain point that he's apologizing with you and evidently there is that learning process that the other side is still approaching. You know, and you have to embrace the fact that someone is learning from his or mistake. And that's very nice, because my partner and I we were very nice couple I mean, we're so cute. But of course sometimes there is something that can challenge us right, like all the relationship, all the couples, and there was a couple of months that we were not so much kind with each other anymore because of external reasons, external problems and nothing to be worried about it. I mean we are strong, fortunately, we believe in strong relationship. That's who we are, but it was a little bit challenging. And what we promise with each other, after a while we say no, that's too much. We have to be more kind with yourself. Because you know, if we start to look for justice, then you don't build kindness, you don't build back the same love that we used to have, we used to receive and that worked.
Speaker 1:
And I'm actually surprised because when I start to read the summary, the summary from story shots is a free app. I advise you guys. Very good app. But when I read the summary right then I was thinking about this episode that came up before this study and it's nice to see some confirmation right from someone who understand how to love the partner. So forgiveness is absolutely something that you have to embrace it.
Speaker 1:
And what he says also is that love is a human need. Love is a human need. It doesn't matter the culture, doesn't matter which kind of religion you are. Right now, love is part of you, love is part we are looking for. Love is so such powerful feeling and it's something that we we want close by so far, forever, you know. So I'm brash it love, because love is part of us. It looks something discounted the other. It's not, it's not. So how can you build this love? Via communication.
Speaker 1:
So for Gary Chapman, communication is the solution to relationship. You know we live different faces in our life. There is the honeymoon face and the dozen list, forever, of course. Then there is that face where you like to be always with your partner Also. That face least longer than the honey face, but at the end, you know, can also disappear after a while. So the face that can least forever, the face that can, that you can build and improve with your partner, is the communication one.
Speaker 1:
Try to communicate with your partner, talk with your partner. Of course we're human being. Of course it cannot. You cannot always force yourself to talk with your partner about problems, right, but you have to try. Something that I like to advise, something that we my partner and I do most of the times when we fight, is try to to communicate this good within a day. So we always try to not sleep with that feeling, with that anger, with that disappointment, with that this pleasure, you know, because that's what we're talking about when we fight and we're human being, fights. So we always try to fix within a day, of course, the word fix a maybe now I'm generalizing because you know it depends also the gravity of the fight very enough. But anyway, we try always to say a kind word and something, you know, sometimes also spiraling, sometimes also going a circle, but it's better than be quiet and and the day is leaping, one from aside, the other, the other lover from the other, one is just too much sat and the can escalate also on the next day and the day after. Too much, but it's awful, it's too much, but, as I said, we're human beings. We try to do our best. Of course we cannot, we cannot act in in in this way Always, but we have to try to do our best to forgive, to have just some talk when someone fights, and communication. It's very important.
Speaker 1:
And this, and finally, we're gonna talk about the five language. So understand your partner love language. What are them? Let's talk about it. First, one affirmation. So express love via affirmation.
Speaker 1:
Here there is a beautiful example that I would like to to express. Okay, let's say that your wife, she say to you to To paint the wall. Okay, now Don't be focused on on the wife or the man factor. That's not what we are talking about. It it's in. I'm not blaming anyone. Okay, just be focused on In the example itself. That's very important. So it can be the wife, can be the man, I can be the man that asked to the wife to to paint the wall, because I don't know the man.
Speaker 1:
Maybe the rule it's different, that house, it's possible, yeah, it's possible. Maybe the man is focused on Something else and the wife is more than, let's say, the man of the house. Yeah, but I don't really want to put through here, especially now, 2024. They're not and it shouldn't. We shouldn't put rules anymore. Hmm, I really think we are always. We are equal and and it depends where you are Comfortable. You know, I, I don't want to to put any label, any, and your any particular label. Anyway, let's go forward.
Speaker 1:
So, going back to the wife, so let's say that your wife is is say to you to To do the wall, to paint the ball then at the wall, but you are much tired, you work so much, then hours per day, then you have children as well and you pick up the children from the school, blah, blah, blah. You just want to rest. It's not that you don't have time, maybe you have time, but you want that time to rest, okay. Well, your wife is not happy. Your wife is not happy and she is gonna say to you yeah, you don't do so much in the house, you are not that good. And I ask you this Five months ago it's still there. And then maybe she talks with her friends. Right, yeah, my husband, it doesn't do anything in the house. And maybe you hear that you know so much bad. You hear that. And I mean the wife Cannot expect that the man paint the wall, especially if the love language of the man is affirmation.
Speaker 1:
When the when, when is affirmation right? When the, the love language of the partner, of someone, is affirmation, is Heavier, the words are heavier than other people with different love languages. So it's better if the wife Understand and appreciate the work of the man and says well, I understand, understand that you are tired, I understand you took the children, understand how much you do in the house, I understand everything. And it's also better if the wife, when she talks with the friends, talks In a positive way about the husband and the husband. Of course same house meant here the positive words. Of course I'm making this super crazy example, but hey, can happen, you know, and and the point is that Within there is, there is, there was a test here from Gary Chapman. It's something that happened to a couple and and Gary Chapman say that within three weeks we found here anything anymore from from the wife because the wife was more kind to him. Within two, three weeks he finally painted the wall.
Speaker 1:
Okay, affirmation. First, love language. Second, love language quality time. Yeah, I would like to read what Gary Chapman Say in in a book. So he say you Camp out in the living room, spread your blankets and pillow on the floor, get your Pepsi and popcorn, pretend the TV is broken and talk alike. You used to when you were dating Talk till the sun comes up or something else happens. If the floor gets too hard, go back upstairs and go to the bed. You won't forget this evening.
Speaker 1:
Gary Chapman, you know, in the modern age we all tend to get Distracted by technology. That's the reality. It's nice to have the right quality time with your partner. Of course, if the love language is quality time in your case, it's beautiful to To to, to have a quality time in this case, and don't be distracted from external, from external situation as a technology or Maybe talking too much about your job. You know and Dedicate the right time to your partner, my partner and I I, if I don't wrong, because we still have to figure out that things she knows better than me in this case, but we, I think our first love language is actually the quality time. So we like to spend the quality time Together. I'm gonna make an example now for you. Right, that's very, that's very interesting. So there is another.
Speaker 1:
Another love language is the acts of service. Okay, we go later with the acts of service, but it's very funny because if I clean, acts of service is literally, you know, clean the house or do something placeable for the other one, because maybe from your partner it's a little bit unplaceable, right. So if I clean the house or I do something in in the house, she is not that impressed. And I'd have to say even myself, if she does the laundry or something right, she I'm not. That it's not that I'm not impressed or something I just cannot see. I cannot see. True. She used to get angry also sometimes. Just I couldn't see true truly. But funny thing is that if one of us organized some good, quality appointment, right quality date or some way to bond together, then Then then then we are like we are super grateful and we're super happy.
Speaker 1:
I remember when I organized these sushi to celebrate with the house and Celebrate about the new house and then I took the glasses and I prepared everything on the table. She was. I also made a cake from a package, but still she appreciated right and Very nice and also something that she said to me that she would like to Spend a good quality time with me sharing the. It's not really sharing. Basically what she wants to do is paint. So just take an hour to to, to paint and then exchange our paints and continue with the With them with the previous paint. Okay, so also, this is beautiful idea. I love it, cannot wait to do. And this is way to to bond, to To, to, to spend quality time, and I think that she proposed to do most of the times it was to to cook together, because when you cook together you Boned and you spend more quality time. You know, I mean it has not to be that big, hmm, it has not to be that big, but you can Understand that when you spend the quality time, if your love language is quality time, then you feel more loved. And it's the same for the Express in love of the affirmation right, if you, if you love, if, if the from, if, if the love language in that case is the formation is interesting how you can feel love towards. It's just beautiful.
Speaker 1:
Third love language Surprise your partner with gift. There is not so much to say here and just someone who likes to receive gifts. But the person who likes to receive gift, it can be also a humble person. It doesn't matter if the gift is expensive or not, as much as comes from true love and something that he say. He used to say it is, it is the thought that count. I know that this is a typical phrase, right, but it's true, if something comes from your heart and then it doesn't really matter. You know, it doesn't really matter if, if the presence big or small, if it's expensive or small, I mean we have not to act like a notebook about the guy that used to make the house for the girl or the handicraft that bought, I mean we have not to go there, so no worries about it.
Speaker 1:
Fourth point acts of service. So act of service do useful things. So well, we say before about it right, I mean, first of all, you have to go out from you, have to go out from your box. I mean we're not talking about this, something that he say in the book, willing to go out of the box when we talk about traditional gender rules. That is the example that I did before.
Speaker 1:
Right, if I clean, that let's say my, my partner is, let's say, the act, the language, the love language of my partner was act of service. Okay, it means that every time I took the lead, every time I take the lead to clean the house, she, she would, she would appreciate more than anyone else. It's not that she doesn't appreciate, because of course she appreciate the the work that I do if I clean the house but maybe takes a little bit more time than a person who who really loves, who really loves this. So you know it's act of service. It's. It's very particular, particular love language, because it's not about the gender first of all. It's more about the fact that you are doing something that for someone else is unpleasurable. Okay, let's say that it's not the case. Still, let's say that my woman is not woman who likes to cook and but let's say I'm the one who can cook. Then if I cook for her it's gonna be just ten times more pleasurable for someone else who had has a different love language. Okay, so very easy.
Speaker 1:
We made also the example, the previous example before, in the quality time. Just understand if your woman really appreciate what you do in the house or outside, or for her, etc, etc. Show in the end we have a physical touch. Well, physical touch, you know, I mean we're talking about kissing, hold the hands and embracing sexual intercourse and we always need physical touch. All of us, but someone more than anyone. So appreciate this and of course, if your partner loves to. You know to, to, to have more touch than anyone else, and also, in this case, the partner is gonna feel loved than any other person with the rest of their love language.
Speaker 1:
Alright, how to identify your own primary love language?
Speaker 1:
How to do? First, ask yourself what you most often request from your partner. Second, consider what comes to mind when you want to feel genuinely appreciated. Third, identify your love language by thinking of times when your partner's behavior is very hard to. This is very nice. When someone heart-touches, it's such a strong feeling, right, and I'm sure you can understand straightaway if that feeling comes, because in your case there is a lack of love. Fourth, try to remember how your parents or lovers helped you feel loved while you were growing up. Also, this is very interesting and this, guys, this is how you can achieve success in your relationship.
Speaker 1:
Before I leave you, there is this last sentence from Gary Chapman. He says love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary love, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. Once you are speaking his or her primary love language fluently, then you can sprinkle in the other four and then will be like icing on the cake Gary Chapman, cool. Thank you guys for being here on Journey to Success and see you on the next episode. Cheers.